Hello, my name is not
Desperate for anything but Christ.
Ugly.
Worthless.
A bad sister and daughter.
Unintelligent.
This night was amazing! God’s presence was so there. He moved my little sister to give her life to Him, and I started crying on stage which increased to bawling when I walked off. It’s unexplainable so I’m not even gonna try(:
It’s time for healing.
It’s time to move on.
It’s time to fix what’s been broken for too long.
I’m done. Final. Period.
I’m done watching you say Jesus is all you need and slipping into a deep vat of self-pity. If it’s so easy to be happy with Jesus, do it. Do not speak words you cannot back up by action. Christian or not. Quit trying to impress and then look pathetic, look pathetic and then impress. It’s repetitive and boring. I’m sorry. I’m done being fed with subconscious guilt-trips and dishonesty. I’m done watching you hide behind your phone while I tried to have a relationship with you, and then listen to you say you tried so much harder than I did. It’s done. Friends or not. It’s done. If you’re going to talk as if you have a deep relationship with God, at least have one… strengthen it, trust, love Him. Then, then… will you get what you’re looking for in all the wrong places… happiness.
Lizze,
Goals:
Go to the beach. Soon.
Buy an old guitar and make it into a mosaic.
Do a creative photoshoot.
Find a place for a makeshift photo studio.
My dress will be here soon :D
Bulletproof Weeks
by Matt Nathanson.
"
“Born Again
She speaks excitedly
Of death.”
"- Jennifer Brutschy.
Can I live at Starbucks!? No, not really. But I don’t think you understand how much I love working there! The people are amazing and I’m always talking about learning something new every time I work… just ask Lizze. She probably hates my constant blabbing about work.
I love that when it’s not busy we freak out on the headsets and quote movies or sing xmas songs in the wrong season. Everyone is hilarious, willing to help, and respectful. I love the all smiles, all amazing atmosphere. Oh, and you can’t forget the dancing and almost killing yourself when you slip in the wet, just-cleaned floor.
And I cannot wait for tomorrow! School, working out, homework, The Effect at WHS in Mr. Pearsons room! Then dinner with Milly, whom I miss dearly, at Chinese, and then more homework and probably meeting Lizze’s cousin that’s coming up.
Been so oober happy lately! God is SOO good and is doing such great things!
This is only the beginning
I will look to You always.
Strengthen me, oh God, for I feel so weak.
Lead me to glorify You in everything I do.
God, you keep showing more and more of yourself in the situations that surround me lately. You keep placing me in the presence of people who want to know God, to know where I’m coming from. I can only pray that in everything I do, every breathe I inhale and exhale, every step I take is for Your Glory and Yours only. Jesus, that I would not attempt to please our materialistic world, but wonder how You look at me. I am so unworthy of Your unfailing love, Your mercy that shows itself every day of my life. I pray You give me strength and take away my pride. And when I doubt You can I pray you’d take away my doubt. Forever You are here, forever I am Yours. Amen.
“Let me hear of Your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting You. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to You.” -Psalm 143:8
I look extremely like a man in my work clothes… black shoes, belt, pants, and shirt. I think the only things keeping me from being a man are the red flower hair clip and diamond earrings.
But I love you Starbucks! Here I come!
Please stop. Just stop. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop being sad. Stop being depressed. And start. Start hanging out with positive influences. Start doing things like you. Start being active. Start being positive. Start trusting. You belong here. You are here for a reason. You are loved. You are beautiful… <3
Start remembering that I’m here, and I’d love to have you as a friend. I’m a text or call away. You don’t have to be alone.
